Raised by flemish sheep farmers in the years leading up to The Great Fletching, J Smooth McMillen honed his driving skills on the rivers and streams of his homeland while guiding and fleecing hapless eco-tourists on package tours to view local geological marvels.   A miscommunication involving housing construction and the daughter of the local magistrate led to is emigration to the United States where he immediately fell in with the right (wrong) crowd.   Dr. Marvin Crippen stumbled upon rally navigation while finishing his doctorate in applied mathematics at the University of Wallamaloo.   The crux of his thesis (the approach to infinity of transient variables as land speed decreases) proved not only a boon for international shipping but also provides the scientific basis for his reverse-hungarian method of navigational computation.   A miscommunication involving shipping fees and the daughter of the local magistrate led to is emigration to the United States where he immediately fell in with the right (wrong) crowd.   After extricating themselves from a joint 6 month stint in jail (the sentence commuted when it was determined that they were not only innocent, far too short to have perpetrated the crime, but in fact were not yet born when Chas A. Lindbergh was kidnapped), they joined forces as co-presidents of what has become a multinational enterprise specializing in toothbrush manufacture (holding patents on bristle-embedding and a breakthrough process for invisible handles that will become important in the next few years).   In their spare time they enjoy the occasional TSD rally.  

TRNT Virgin.   Neatest is too relative, I love my Tercel, it knows not of mortality.   Loved the 62 Buick too @ roughly 1/2 the mileage of the Tercey.   Motorsporting without sanction, but not enough to brag about.   Too many "detail" mods to race the car but if I wreck it I'll have to find a fresh palette.   If I don't use it as a rally car it will just become another rotay phone in a cellular world.   (I think it may already be).   No AC or Radio so I hope my co-driver can spin a good yarn for twenty hours up and I hope he can keep quiet for twenty hours back.   Good guy though!   Can I win free gas?  

Car and driver have run every TRNT, Navigator all from '98 to present.  
Organizer Note: They usually are the overall winners, too.  

No comments.

Navigator has been rallying 10 years, together we got into brisk gravel TSD tours in 2004, unfortunately after the last TRNT.   125,000+ hard hard miles on the STi rallying up and down the west coast, 5 years participating in Pacific Coast Challenge.   Both rally cross, navigator co-drove for Oregon Trail stage rally, won 1st in class regional.   Both have crotch rockets.   Both done track days at PIR.  

Rally accomplishment: winning 1st Overall at Totem and Tbird rallies back to back.   Hard luck story: Losing the downpipe off the turbo and running 90% of a Canadian event with flames coming out the turbo and carbon monoxide filling the cabin.   Shorted out the Timewise computer, too.   Neatest car owned?   J: 1968 Torino, 2004 STi   B: 1968 Cadillac, 2005 GTO   Driven?   J: Viper GTS   B: Corvette Z06, STS-V  

No comments.  

It was the summer of 1985 and the heat burned patterns into his skin as Pingouin Guerrier walked along a beach in an exotic land.   The Caribbean wind scattered sand around him and with it came a boy covered in dirt, identifying himself only as Calmar.   The Pingouin soon discovered that Calmar was not only good at reaching far away objects but also that his translucent skin made him glow in the dark.   Pingouin, who you might know for such deeds as saving humanity, is known for his love of designer suits, and his fierce intelligence.   He earned the name Guerrier while fighting the dirtiest of gangsters in the French Canadian underworld.   What makes his crime fighting mojo go?   He takes his iPod and fills it with songs by the Go-go's.   The team discovered rallying when kidnapped by McMinvillian gypsies who taught the two the secret art of getting to a place on time.   Over years the two have attained such fame in rallying that they have been praised by Barak Obama, Christopher Walken, the Queen of England, and Ringo Starr.   In fact, this year, their technique has reached such perfection that, should they lose-- and losing is not an option-- the angels will weep for them.   The hope and breath of the nation is behind these two- may they make us proud to be American!  

[Editor's note: These guys, often mistaken for Ben Bradley and Russ Kraushaar, are indeed known to be formidable TRNT competitors (or sometimes significant contributors to the event's production).]

In the realm of TSD, they are both well imbued with the NOOB.   This will also be their first TRNT event.   The Driver has participated in rallycross since May of last year, while the Navi has been around for some of the excitement.   Both are old friends from 'bout '87 or so.   The Driver is an 'Internal Combustion Artist'.   The Navi works with high precision ceramics.   While the Navi has got a few amusing stories involving an '86 Dakota ( you can ask if you want), the Driver has an ongoing list of interesting vehicles either driven or worked on: On the top is an DeLorean DMC-12 (for rareness mainly), two Murcielagos (got to drive one), a Ferrari F430 Spider (no drive. 'sob'), numerous Porsches (mah favorate).   Looking forward to this with immense anticipation.   Soreja!

No comments.

Our first and only experience with TRNT was back in 2003, and we had a BLAST!   Gotta love an all-night rally!   We were relative rally n00bs at the time and were taken in by the whole thing.   We look forward to another great, spirited drive this year.  

No comments.  

After becoming nationally ranked as a Barrel Racer (miniature horse division), Renee sought new challenges, and discovered speed-knitting.   The well-known cutthroat competition in the sewing sports is even more keenly apparent in speed-knitting, and tempers run hot, leading to shenanigans.   Eventually an joint FBI-ATF 'sting' operation cleaned up the Western Conference, but the imprisonment of so many premier speed- knitters deflated the sport's public image and the sponsorship money dried up.   After her probationary period expired, Renee sought the calm environment and measured pace of a rally car.   She found a suitable partner when she met Marinus, who happened to be standing next to someone else's Lancia Beta in a parking lot.   His moth-eaten smoking jacket, his flip-up mirrored sunglasses, and the faint smell of 90-wt about him told her almost everything she needed to know.   Unbeknownst to her, Marinus has been afflicted since birth with the rare "Pirosqui's Syndrome", which causes him to perceive downhills as uphills, and vice versa.   On sidehill-heavy terrain, the misperception can lead to a see-sawing picture of the world, but so far this has not forestalled his driving, because the images go away when his eyes are closed.   The Team is looking forward to running TRNT-IJYP ("The Road's Not Twisting -- It's Just Your Pirosqui's")  

Sunny and Rich have only been rallying for a very short time.   Their claim to fame is that they have completed every rally they have started, and have managed a second-place finish.   Firmly embracing their new-found philosophy, 'rallying makes us swear', they are eager to attempt The Road Not Taken.   If the Dramamine holds out, their biggest challenge will be rallying on a night other than Friday.   And the gravel.   And avoiding Sasquatch.   While Rich has destroyed millions of dollars in fine autos via various game consoles, Sunny prides herself as never having even scratched a paintjob.   Both are looking forward to the task of the Road Not taken, and gathering the experience gained upon completion.   And maybe a trophy.  

Ian and I have floundered about during most of the previous TRNT events we have run.   We plan on continuing the grand tradition of driving slowly, in a confused fashion, with grins on our faces.   Expect us to finish at the back of the pack, with our tools well used, our car abused, and our spouses bemused!  

Paul and Kala have run the Road Not Taken once before, but would like another crack at it!   The competition is up against two-time winning Limited Class Alcan Winter Rally team.   Both team members have backgrounds in autocross, Solo I, rallycross, and stage rally.   Paul operates a rally driving school through his company Primitive Enterprises and Kala is his superstar assistant/driving instructor.   Obviously, to reach this status, both have destroyed numerous cars.  

No comments.  

Some say he does taxes old school, with an abacus; others claim his numerical mastery came after a climb a top a windswept mountain peak where he studied accounting with Tibetan masters; and still some say he alone actually invented Sudoku puzzles... all we know is we call him the Stig!... of accounting.   Bruce Tabor is the patriarch of the Tabor Rally Team, rallying's answer to the Unser's and the Andretti's.   Bruce's mild mannered ways hides a fierce fire that burns within for competition and the possibly primal instinct in every human to secretly want to vanquish all who stand in his way of victory.   In his spare time Bruce enjoys building elaborate dioramas of great moments in accounting and tax preparation.   The rumors that he is D.B. Cooper subsided years ago when it was proven he started his business empire not with ill-gotten money and a jump from a low flying jet but from shrewd business investments in such great fads as the Pet Rock, Puka shell necklaces and the Psychic Friends Network.

John Elkin is a complete rookie as far as TRNT is concerned and is looking forward to finally being able udder the words, "Why yes, I have run Road Not Taken."   Hopefully this will stop the sophomoric taunting of his fellow navigators who have been known to repeat the phrase, "Roses are red, violets are blue, we've all run Road Not Taken and we're better than you!"   Hurt and demoralized John has been known to fall back on words of inspiration from his Father to remind him that he is special and can do anything when he was told, "No, you weren't an accident, you were a surprise."   John is a devout follower of the words of George Harrison and is just waiting for his teachings to become an organized religion.   In his spare time John enjoys copying great works of art on construction paper with glue and macaroni; his charitable foundation to raise awareness and rid the world of kidney stones has yet to gain the kind of support and following that he has hoped.   John further complicates his life by being a card carrying Libertarian.  

This will be the first time Jacob or Jeff have run The Road Not Taken, although certainly not the first time they've enjoyed a road not taken.   Jacob, of course being related to Todd and Paula by blood and to Bob by circumstance, has worked on several TRNT's as checkpoint crew, sweep, etc.   Jeff has participated in demolition derbies and is a tireless at-home mechanic and auto enthusiast.   As we look at the current entry list, we laugh at the overwhelming majority of Subarus.   Although Jeff has recently acquired such a machine, the team has opted to try their luck with only the most hard-core of vehicles: The 3-cylinder, 57 squirrelpower, 2 Door Geo Metro Hatchback.   With Jacob behind the wheel and Jeff on point in the co-driver seat, the two will be the youngest competitors to ever run The Road Not Taken.   EVER. =)  

We have not run TRNT but we hear great things about past events.   We have only been rallying since 2006.   We are very excited to run a gravel TSD here in our own backyard.   Hard luck stories? = Rally/motorsports is not my full time occupation :)  

This will be our third rally in this car.   This will be our third rally.   This will be our third The Road Not Taken.  

Rob is a Rally Newbie who has fond memories of the Canon Ball Run and Gumball Rally films as a kid.   Much later in life he discovered Rally Racing was an approachable motor sport, and with the gentle encouragement of his longtime coworker, Bob Wakehouse, has finally decided to give it a whirl in case Bob waits five years to host this rally again.   Our goals are to not crash the car, cross the finish line, and not get sick.

Gregor Richards is a computer science student, now beginning graduate school at Purdue.   This is his first time navigating in a rally, as well as the driver's first time driving one.   He considers himself a good navigator in general, so decided it would be worth a shot.

[Editor's note: Several years ago, Gregor twice spent a summer working with Rob, and Bob, as a student intern software developer at Intel.   He impressed everyone enough that he still is widely and reverently remembered there.   Computer Science student, revered software developer, natural-born rally navigator: Gregor is a man who wears many different hats!]

Dan is a rallying poet who believes running The Road Not Taken will bring him closer to the spirit of Robert Frost (or, at least, it will bring him to Oregon).   Hans does not speak German, Dutch, or any other language you might think he'd speak with a name like Hans.   He'll give you a nickel if you can properly pronounce his last name.   Both driver and navigator like Saabs.   A lot.   They are, therefore, fools...or geniuses.  

This is our first time participating in The Road Not Taken, although it's def-def-definitialy not our first time on the Oregon logging roads.   We recently just lost our road rally virginity to the Rally Against Parkinson's and ended up doing very well in our novice class.   Thanks to the Damm family for explaining their wealth of road rally knowledge to us, before the event kicked off.   Sean is a Sprint karter from Georgia who fell in love with mountain roads, when he owned a Miata (then there was the big bang, and the Miata was gone).   Thomas is the brains of the operation and Sean would be lost without him!   Growing up, Sean and Thomas (cousins) had their fair share of differences (which usually ended with Sean holding Thomas down in the pool until there were no more bubbles...) but now they work together as a team, in an alliance, in a quest to conquer The Road Not Taken.   Oh ya, we are driving Thomas' mom's car...Thanks Mom/Aunt Susan!  

Two die-hard auto-x hoodlums are retiring their r-comps for some much needed off-road action!   Just don't tell our wives we are using one of the family cars... she thinks we're going on a "road trip"...   I guess this counts yeah?  

Making the move from the glorified lawn job that is rallycross.   This will be the first TSD event for the Darrow team.   Hoping to keep the nausea levels low and the fun factor high.  

Despite the Hanna bothers' lack of real experience, we feel confident, through our many hundred hours of virtual racing, that we will finish other than dead last on our debut TSD. Plus we're campaining a Subaru, so what's the worst that could happen? Besides jinxing ourselves, of course.  

Father/son, driver/navigator team.   Colin is the youngest of three offspring who have kept dad's love of gravel rally competition alive.  Mike started rallying in the early 70's.   Back when TSD rallying WAS forest road cruising; when Porsches owners were not afraid of a little dust and rock; when halfway through the event you found yourself in the dead of the night overlooking spectacular views of far off lights and blackened waterways.   He fell in love with it.   An oil embargo and a new family dimmed the light for a while (missed the WRC Olympus too), but came back to the sport in the early '90s.   Mike has been proudly involved with the operations of Oregon Rally Group from it's inception, and has logged many miles on forest roads as the Oregon Trail Rally's Clerk-of-the-Course for the past 10 years.   The Road Not Taken is at the heart of everything that Mike likes about rally, and thus is his favorite event.   One that he dearly welcomes back onto the rally calendar.   Thanx, Twisty Roads!

No comments.  

No comments.  

Twisty Roads Rally Group
116 N Elm St
Yamhill, OR 97148
(503) 662-3417
twistyroads@twistyroads.net
http://twistyroads.net